What is your opinion on angry and offensive Facebook status messages?

Really?  It’s that simple?

Have you or any of your friends been guilty of venting or saying something very negative on your Facebook status updates in the heat of anger?  A lot of us are guilty of doing so, and the results to these very powerful posts vary from sympathy, to shock, to criticisms, to even being unfriended by people.

How do you feel about this topic?  Can you rationalize it by arguing that people have the right to say whatever they want (hey, it’s a free country; and Facebook is free, too)?  Or do you belong to the camp that asks the angry FB users to think twice before posting their gripes for all to see?

Before I tell you which side I’m on, I would like to implore you to watch another video clip from Dr. Wayne Cordeiro’s excellent talk, Dead Leader Running.  It talks about an excellent principle called “Find A Lightning Rod.”  This principle will help our lives (real or cyberspace) immensely, and it very excellently introduces my opinion on the subject.

Enjoy the video, which is based on a church leaders’ summit a few years ago.  Please don’t read any further until you see the video in its entirety.

 Now here’s the thing: when one person is full of “charge,” as Dr. Cordeiro explains it, and brings the dirty laundry out on FB for all to see, all sorts of people will see it and become affected.  The kicker is, while all of us should have many friends, not all our friends qualify to be lightning rods.  Not many of your friends know you well enough or have the maturity to take what you’ve just written and ground it.

In fact, I’d say the majority would probably fry; and that manifests itself in different forms like backlash/criticisms, gossip, changing their opinion of you, and some even get fed up and unfriend you for your negativity.

That’s sad, but it happens a lot…and you can’t knock them for it because they don’t qualify to be your lightning rods in the first place, and it’s unfair for you to expect them to be.

It’d be much wiser if you find the lightning rods in your life and verbally vomit on them.  One, it’s not so public so the whole world will not know that you had a fight with hubby or whatever; two, these lightning rods can help you process these issues well; and three, nobody gets fried.

And like a spouse, share some things on Facebook, but share from the victory side (or at least make it a Phil. 4:13 kinda post)

I have several lightning rods in my life, older gentlemen who are very mature Christians and are fantastic family men and professionals.  One of them, I see regularly every month (I even cried in front of him the last time we met; that was embarrassing but I had to vomit big time and he not only grounded it but gave fantastic counsel) and, well, it feels good that they can make themselves available whenever I need them.

“To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth— Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, …”  (Prov. 1:2-3)

My young couples group also serves as my rods, and vice versa.  In fact, I serve as a lightning rod to a LOT of people in all sorts of places, be in my small group, old friends in cyberspace, or students and even co-faculty in school.  For those who give me their trust on sensitive issues, thank you; and I hope I serve you well in not only grounding whatever is bothering you but also giving wise, Biblical counsel.

So, in closing, instead of venting life’s frustrations out on our Facebook status updates for all to see (and frying people with it), there’s a better and wiser option: find a few good lightning rods.

My previous post also features clips from Dr. Wayne Cordeiro’s Dead Leader Running.  It’s about fighting burnout.  Also, feel free to get his book that the talk is based on:  Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Renewing Your Passion. 

You can also buy his other books:


Recommended reading on Anger Management: